i just wanna sleep...

i'm so tireddddd!


this weekend was the best. mainly 'cause we went to santa cruz for hilary's birthday with everybody, and it seemed like nobody flaked or anything. went to one beach to BBQ, eat, chill, go in water, relax, all that good stuff. we actually got there hella fast! there was jasmine, anne, and mia in my car..the "G" CAR! you can just guess what that G means! aha went to the boardwalk..anne and i took hella long looking for food 'cause we're so damn cheap! left santa cruz, went to wendy's..and then my house! i'm not gonna go into detail on what happened at my house..and some of you guys already know what happened at my house. and btw, no prom date failure this time, girls!


and, powderpuff is actually getting fun.

i really did miss josh these past few years,

i don't want to deal with any of this ANYMORE. i don't know why i put up with it in the first place. i don't even know why i fall for it every single fuckin' time. it is not fair to me, and it is not fair to you. you need to stop saying one thing and then do the other. stop confusing me. if you say you're done, then you're done. stop coming back to me when i'm ready to move on without you. stop coming back to me and then leave. stop it.



after everything i do, seriously.

my mama's...

IN EUROPE! i miss her hella much,








AND BTW, my phone hella broke, but it still works..


i get spoiled with food from bubs. even if i don't want it, he'll still get me something to eat.

Prom date failure...

First off..HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, LUIGIE!

I had fun this weekend. I miss all my marina mains. I need to spend more time with them again and talk to every one of them more often. It's funny how we don't hang out at school, but we hang out all the time out side of school. Weird, isn't it?


Friday, Tarah left with me after 5th period, picked up Anne and went to YoSwirl. When we got there, we decided we wanted wingstop and so we went looking for it around that shopping center, and we passed by ASIAN PEARL and GOOD FEET. Well, you would understand if you were there. Ate some food and then went to Kyler's and chilled. The girls wanted to go to marina to try fly Mia's kite...which we failed at ): the boys was suppose to bake gingerbread cookies..but ended up baking a big cookie penis for the girls. LOL, and yes, we all ate it. Stayed at Kyler's till 1:30, and took jasmine home.


Saturday was Luigie's party, and I baked hella cupcakes for him. Waited for Gary to bart to SL so I can go pick him and Anne up. and then off to Luigie's! Hella good ass food and shit, yummm. Basically just chilled with mains. I spent hella time with the mains this weekend, which was hella good! I missed them. Left Luigie's, and went to Tarah's friend's party..which was alright. PROM DATE FAILURE!! ): Tarah, we suck for that. AH, left and went to my house. Played wii fit and ate, HAHA. I was dead by the end of the night. Fell asleep watching movies. FREE HBO ON DIRECT TV! YAYY.

WELL, looks like I'm staying home today, and watch Twilight later on with Tarah, maybe! GOOOOODBYE,

instead of doing hw, we do this...

"play me once, shame on you.
play me twice, shame on me."

life lesson learned.

I really need vent to someone. Where are the people I talk to most when I need them? They all tell me I don't deserve anything I'm getting right now because it's not right. They all say I can do better, anyone else is lucky enough to have me. They say I'm just looking too hard. What I really want is for him to understand everything I do, I want him to fuckin' listen to me for once. I don't need this, I tell myself I need to move on, I need to forget about him, but once I start to do that, he makes his way back in, and gets me back to where I was before. I don't know if all this is worth it. She says the easiest way out is to leave. She says I need to grow up and listen to myself. He says I deserve much better. He also said;

"You're fucking amazing!
I see it every second i'm with you.
Thats why I know how great you are"

but everything is not as easy as it seems.

"love you like a brother,
treat you like a friend.
respect you like a lover"

sicksicksick;

This cold sucks ass. But the good thing is, I usually get sick only once a year! I hope this is it, 'cause I hate being sick. It's always the same thing over and over again. Coughing non-stop for hours and hours. ughhhh. I am now eating porridge at home and blogging.


Chris is so freakin' nice! After I picked bubs and Chris up from school, we went back to Chris's house and he made me some tea! That was some good smelling tea though. It smelt like flowers. Haha oh yesss, and Michael Lee gave me his lunch today during 5th 'cause I said I was hungry and he's like "you can have my food since you're hungry and you're the one that's sick" AW, isn't that hella sweet!? We stayed at Chris's house for a good 5hours..and all they were doing was play video games and I was just..there, watching them. LAME. But, bubs and I left and went back to his house. That's when my cough started to get worse and worse! I was pretty much fine at Chris's house until I stepped outside and it was hella windy and shit. I swear, the whole time I was at bubs house, I just kept coughing, but he took care of me(: got me medicine, since it was pretty much the same one I was taking at home and it was time for me to take medicine anyways, kept me warm and stuffs. At least these guys cared and pretty much took care of me today, right?


I bought 2 bags of cough drops last night, and I ate all of one today. MAN, is that even good? Placement tests tomorrow at CSUEB, that is gonna suck big time if these tests really is 6hours long..

sick;

This weather really sucks. IDK how I got sick, but I am, which sucks really bad. I took like a 4hour long nap today, woke up and felt even worse than I did during the day! Ughhh. Chris was making fun of my voice today, asshole. Arielle and I failed at going to the t-shirt factory AGAIN. Welllll, I was sleeping 'cause of this stupid sickness. I really want to go there to make a sweatshirt before it's not cold anymore.


This weekend I was suppose to hang out with Ryanboo, but he didn't pick up his phone! We been saying we're gonna hang out for the longest time ever, probably since the beginning of the school year! Too bad he's too busy now. LAME.


This weekend was really nothing special. I..don't remember what i did Saturday. OH, took Jasmine to Yoswirl since she's never been there and then we decided to go to BJ's since it was right there and I've been wanting to go for the longest time ever. We got the bacon cheeseburger pizza, and omggggg that was a hella good ass pizza! I really want to try that dessert pizookie, but we were too full ): I finally got to watch Friday Night Lights at bubs house, THEN he kicked me out. Well, not really. Spent most of Sunday with Johnnybananas! I baked HELLA MUCH that day. Well, like 3bags of brownies for 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Matt, Steven, and Chloe! But then..I got distracted when bubs called and asked me to pick him up from football, so..I left Chloe's brownies in the oven and they got super hard. FAIL. But then I ended up giving Chloe Steven's brownies. SORRY STEVEN! Um, went to go eat pho with bubs and coldstone! Drive home was so fuckin' irritating, I swearrr. Since he didn't eat that ice cream on the way home, it was all melted, and it was dripping everywhere! Hella dumb. But uh, we watched some movie when we got back to his house. OH, I remember, it was College Roadtrip with Raven Simone. This weekend seemed like I had so much to do, but it didn't even feel a lot. My mama leaves next Wednesday to Moscow, Italy, Paris, and where ever she's going. SO FUCKIN' LUCKY. I hope she brings me back some souvenirs!(:

For poohbear

2/3 in the morning, with nothing to do.

Time change;

and I can't sleep.

"Play me once, shame on you.
Play me twice, shame on me."

senior skate night;

It is midnight, and I obviously have nothing else better to do than to watch Slumdog Millionaire, which I'm not even paying attention to. I'm gonna start that movie all over again. Hmm, so skate night was not what I expected. I didn't think it was gonna be as much fun as it was! Hella funnn skating with Johnnybananas all night and having our little gossip thing going on (: He was my somewhat...'date' HA not really. I fuckin' love Johnnybananas. He's such a good friend. He sees things in me other guys don't, he notices everything I do and other guys don't. ANYWAYS, skate night ended and went to Alameda with Jasmine, Hilary, and Maraline. Went to this one place called Tuttimelon(?), I forgot already and got some frozen yogurt! Back to my house with just Jasmine and chilled. Jasmine and I are gonna try to go out to lunch tomorrow! IDK where but we were hella looking online for some good restaurants. Such fatasses we are.

"you're fucking amazing!

I see it every second i'm with you.

Thats why I know how great you are"
-JCG

2months

It's exactly 2months until my birthday. Yeah, 2months sounds hella farrr from now, but really, time is passing by TOO fast right now. I can't believe I actually bought my prom dress today..and prom isn't until MAY!!!!!! UGH, I had to since my mama isn't gonna be home for hellaa long and only her opinion matters. A $218 dress went to $185..which isn't that bad I guess, and I got a free $30 for accessories. That's pretty good. I found this really nice NorthFace jacket which is ON HOLD right now at macys! YAYAYYAYY. That's it. RAIN FUCKIN' SUCKS.

"you the fuckin' best"

monterey bay.

Best way to end the month, but a great weekend which ended HORRIBLY.


FINALLY got to go to Monterey Bay Aquarium!! Decided to go with Talia and Indy at the very last minute, Tuan and Mona couldn't go ): We planned on leaving at 8..which turned into 930, and 930 turned into 1030! Picked up Tristan and then Talia&Indy. The drive to Monterey has got to be the longestttttt drive I have ever driven! Santa Cruz didn't even seem that far of a drive! Got to Monterey, and boy was it confusing..ate, and then offfffff we went to walk around the aquarium. I really thought the aquarium was bigger than it actually was. But it isss better than the one at San Francisco. I thought the best part was the jelly fishes and that giant octopus! After, we decided to go to Seaside(?) Beach, which wasn't that far from Monterey. Stayed there walking around for awhile. Freakin' Indy took us on a HIKE on our way back to the car. Literally..a sand hike. Drove home, and stopped at Fremont so TALIA CAN FREAKIN' DRIVE. Back to her house to figure out what to do next..and CHEESECAKE FACTORY WAS THE ANSWER. YUMMM, too bad my stomach was in pain and I couldn't enjoy my dinner ): Back to San Leandro, and took Tristan home.

FUCK THE RAIN; went to Stoneridge today with bubs, and he bought me a purse from H&M! Thankssss bubs. But he thinks the color is hella ugly ): Went to Rasputin and got 28 days later and Friday Night Lights, which I didn't even get to watch! I freakin' loooooove rasputin, cheapest movies everrrr! Going home was not even good, I swearrrrr. How can such a great/fun weekend end up so bad. ugh IHML.

More pictures if I'm not lazy..